Hey there, r/loseit. Hope you’re all doing as well as I want you to be.
My “Day 1” may have been any day over the past few weeks, I suppose; all I know is I have surfaced above water for the first time in a long time, and today is as good a day as any to go public.
Historical: I have always been a large woman...but not like “this.”
The weight gain spiral began with major clinical depression and crippling anxiety—like, the “Didn’t-Leave-My-Home-For-Literally-Weeks,” kind—really derailed my life in August 2017. Unaddressed mental health issues bubbled-up after repressed traumas led to a full mental breakdown. The psychiatrists labeled it as PTSD. It was a nuclear bomb to my promising career, then I dealt with personal bankruptcy after the savings dwindled, and the bills went unpaid...THEN segued straight into homelessness (seems like an eternity ago and tapping this out with my thumbs is surreal).
Basically, once I had regained stable access to food I did not (couldn’t?) stop eating. The isolation as a coping mechanism halted an active lifestyle, and I gained ~165-pounds in two years. Food hoarding as a psychological response to previous food insecurity is a real thing.
Present: After a lot of counseling, treatment, many lifestyle adjustments, a relocation, new job and home, I have finally managed to work up to mindfully shopping for groceries again; consulted a medical professional about my body, and picked up the phone last Sunday night to make an appointment with the local wellness center.
Then, I unpacked my trusty Nike FRs and set them out.
I’m looking forward to meeting my trainers tomorrow and am thankful and humbled they made time for me so quickly. Also, whatever is going on in the Universal energy field at large: Human Resources reached out and asked if I’d be interested in joining their new corporate health program they are rolling out. We did the spit-wad mind map, our President said he’d love to put some money behind challenges and big rewards since a lot of us are succumbing to the sedentary lifestyle our field seems to mandate. Even created some videos today for the staff on how to use apps like MFP and Real Appeal.
I am so damn lucky to not have any serious complications at this weight—and I will have to work hard to at least get back in the 200-Club as soon as possible to avoid any further damage. The human frame simply can’t handle mass like this for long without repercussions, and I’m immensely grateful for the clarity.
Tl; dr—I know it will be difficult, but that’s okay.
Thanks for letting me be a small part of your adventure, too.
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