Fat and Tired

Fat guy here. Right now I'm at 6' 345lbs. I've been in this cycle of up and down with my weight for the last 15 years. But now I can't seem to find a way back. I have a serious eating addiction, where I binge or overeat at least 5-6 days a week. I went to a group and met with a counselor, but I can' t seem to get ahold of it. It's almost like I'm scared to fail, or I know I will, so I cause myself to fail. I don't know if that makes sense, but I feel like I intentionally sabotage myself.

I have to fix this though. It's ruining my whole life. I spend too much on food, none of my clothes fit me, and I am afraid I am going to lose my job. I work in sales, and due to feeling like shit and having a negative self image I don't go on sales calls that I should, and I don't chase leads as I should in person. I don't know if this is all due to my weight, but I wasn't like this at all when I was thinner. All I know is that I have to fix this because I can't go on living like this. I would rather not even live, than to live with the shame and self-loathing I feel right now.

I don't have any questions. I just had to let that out.

submitted by /u/augustusmaximus00
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