A very important and expensive piece of equipment went AWOL at my work today. Not my error, but as The One In Charge, the responsibility in locating it fell to me. And since it never turned up, the fallout tomorrow might land on me as well.
T’was a stressful shift and I’m not anticipating tomorrow being any better. I told myself I wasn’t going to punish myself by cramming “comfort” foods into my face until I felt ill, but that’s how tonight panned out anyway.
Did it help? No. Of course not. I ate two nets of novelty halloween chocolate. I then ate the dinner I’d been procrastinating on preparing, and helped myself to a bigger portion than I’d originally logged, and definitely bigger than I needed to eat. I then dished myself out some Fluff marshmallow spread.
Not logging the binge. Not out of shame but because when I’m like this, seeing that red number on MFP get bigger just triggers me to eat even more.
I just feel disgusting. I know from experience that one bad day or one binge won’t ruin all my progress but I wanted for this to be a good week, and feeling like I’m picking up the pieces of today is just one more thing to feel shitty about tomorrow.
I don’t even know what I want out of this post or from people’s reactions to it. I guess I just needed to yell someplace where talking about how you ate your feelings when venting about your bad day isn’t a taboo or TMI, and where other people might “get” the ugly concoction of feelings I’m experiencing right now.
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