This is a lot to unload, apologies for the long post. I feel I should start that I’ve struggled with my weight since childhood. I was always the ‘big, bubbly girl’ in school.
What my peers didn’t know was that I hated myself and what I looked like. I did my best to not let the bullies have the acknowledgement of what they said hold the scars that I still carry with me today.
I thought I was fat then, and never expected to let myself go as far as I have now.
So fast forward 13 years since high school (am 31 now) and have always struggled with depression and my eating habits.
Eating felt good, feeling full felt good, I’d binge until I was satisfied and at the same time hated myself for what I let myself become, so I’d eat more to combat this feeling for a quick and easy fix. It’s a vicious cycle as ‘feel-good’ hormones are released after eating or binging.
I’ve tried diets, gym memberships, but nothing ever lasted. Whether from financial struggles, depression, or didn’t have the mental capacity to commit.
Recently my car broke down, and I don’t have the money to fix it. So I’ve been walking to and from work, getting groceries and running errands on foot as there’s no bus services in my town, so it’s a silver lining to get me to exercise 2+ hours daily from just walking.
I carry my backpack everywhere I go, and sometimes (it might seem silly) if I know I won’t need groceries that day I’ll put a couple of 5-10lb dumbbells in the bottom of my pack to give myself a workout.
I can feel my legs are much stronger, and am not so easily out of breath anymore. I don’t know how it ‘clicked’ but I’ve been also making better choices towards what I eat. I used to eat meals enough for 2-3 people in one sitting, knowing it wasn’t healthy but depression got in the way of me caring.
At my heaviest I weighed in at 261lbs, and and now down to 233lbs. I genuinely feel a positive mental and physical shift within myself. I’ve cut down my portions, and feel full after a small/healthy meal.
I don’t have any tips or tricks to share to lose weight fast. I just know that if you want to make a change within yourself physically, it has to start within yourself mentally to make it happen.
Remember that we are only human, you can start to be a better and brighter you TODAY. Don’t put it off until tomorrow. It’s not too late to begin making healthier choices, but know it’s okay to fail. Again, we are only human, we are meant to fail and learn how to succeed.
I hope this helps with anyone suffering with depression and trying to lose weight. It’s a hard, uphill battle.. but know that you truly have the strength and motivation within yourself to make a change that can last a lifetime.
You have what it takes to become a better, brighter YOU.
Thank you for reading, and I wish all the best on your own journey. We are all in this crazy world together and if my experience can can help motivate just one person it’s worth sharing.
All the best,
-Carm
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