Did my first mini-binge in months. But, I fessed up to myself and counted the calories anyway.

Weekends are always the worst for me. During the week it's easy to keep a routine going but on the weekend my old instinct to treat myself rears its ugly head again, especially when I have a whole week's deficit worth of 'wiggle room' logged.

Anyway, today started off on the wrong foot with my bright idea to grab cheap Halloween candy in the morning (it was all gone, so I just grabbed normal candy). While at the store I got some frozen food for breakfast and lunch. After doing my meal prep for the work week ahead I gave myself an excuse to go back to the supermarket, where I impulsively grabbed dinner and some snacks: frozen pizza, a mini cheesecake, and a bunch of chocolate. I guess I figured I had been doing so good having just hit 30lbs down from my peak, so I deserved to eat with a little reckless abandon again. I munched on the chocolate on the way home and devoured the rest as soon as I got back.

Then, the guilt set in. My 26 day streak of logging everything was toast. I felt sick and bloated. My 'official' weekly weigh in tomorrow morning would surely be less than impressive with all this junk in me. After ruminating a bit I went right to the garbage can, fished all the packages out, and tallied the damage. ~700 calories for the pizza, ~1000 calories for the chocolate (tony's chocolonely: as delicious as it is ethical btw), ~1200 calories for the cheesecake and the other junk I ate earlier. Putting it all into loseit was painful. My week's deficit was gone in favor of a ~300 calorie surplus.

But hey, I still logged everything! It simultaneously reassured me that it wasn't that bad, and showed me how destructive it can be to completely lose my impulse control. It also reminded me that bad eating decisions lead to more bad eating decisions. Snacking on chocolate in the morning was a bad first move, and kind of led to a domino effect for the rest of the day. Finally, it reminded me that I'm not out of the woods yet. Even after losing 30 lbs and logging a deficit almost every day since September, I'm not some god of fitness who has totally recovered from any type of food addiction.

Sorry for the long ramble. Bottom line is: try to be as honest as possible and try your best to fight the 'I fucked up today. In for a penny in for a pound. Might as well binge' mentality.

submitted by /u/THICK_CUM_ROPES
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