I’ve lost about 15 lbs in the past 4/5 months (which I know is a long time but it actually took a lot of work) and I feel better than ever. I’m 5’2 f, started at 135 and now about 120. I’ve been trying really hard to get in shape because my goal is to become a trainer, I’m starting school in January and I’m way excited. But one thing I’ve noticed is I feel a little bit obsessive about my eating/exercise, and am very scared of gaining weight again. It’s so bad that even if I eat at maintenance calories (without considering exercise) I feel like I’ve gotten fatter by the next day. I’m constantly taking pictures and feeling the fat on my body to compare to the day before, and if I feel even a little bit bigger I feel sad all day. I usually fix this feeling by fasting the day after, or at least restricting which I know isn’t the best thing to do but it’s the only thing that makes me feel better.
I did struggle a lot last year with restricting, but that restricting eventually led to binge eating/purging and I ended up being heavier than I was when I started. I just finally was able to stop binge eating the dinner of this year and do things the healthy way and it’s so much better, but I’m still obsessed. Wondering if anyone else deals with this or knows why I might be so obsessive over my body.
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