Finding Consistent Motivation to Stick With a Healthy Lifestyle?

I am a 16M, about 6'3 or 6'4, and weigh at what I would estimate at about 450 pounds. From birth to now, I have always been off the charts in weight (and up until now, height). I have always the been the obligatory 'fat guy' who everybody told to play Football and had to be the class clown in order to gain any forms of validation. For me, food has been so much to me and brings me so much pleasure and happiness that I just can't seem to find a way to completely rationalize the necessary lifetime lifestyle change required to be at a healthy weight, even as I acknowledge how unhealthy I am and how disgusting I look. I have had some success dieting (even losing 50 pounds at one point), but eventually the cravings win out and the downward spiral begins again. Its like no matter how much motivation I get, the pleasure I get from food and the bullshit excuses I make, like whether losing weight would even make me less ugly, tend to win out every single time. Any advice?

submitted by /u/ersatz_goods
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