I'm an ex bulimic. 5'2" and at my lowest I was 90lbs, I know it wasn't that extreme compared to some but it was at that point I started getting sick.
3 months after I hit my lowest I got into an awful relationship with a guy that had a feeder fetish, in 18 months I endured abuse after abuse while he just kept feeding me. I went up to 217lbs.
I've been out of that situation for a year, started losing weight in June with the support of my new, amazing boyfriend and so far I'm down to 192.
Problem is I'm getting the same urges to stop eating, throw up everything I eat or start taking laxatives again with every meal. I'm scared I'm going to fall back into old habits.
I'm diagnosed with CFS and fibromyalgia so when I don't eat I get really tired but because I'm in bed all day i can justify not eating because I'm not doing anything.
MyFitnessPal recommends that I eat 1540 calories a day but on average I'm only getting 1000 which I think is fine but my weekly average is getting lower and I feel like anything below 1000 and I'll start going downhill.
How di I stop becoming obsessive over calories? I can't stop counting them. So far I've manage to stick to only weighing myself every 1-2 weeks but I think that's slowly getting more often as well.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/38B91bf
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