Yesterday I hit -100 lbs. Today my best friend and biggest cheerleader died in a freak accident.

She was in her 30s. Fell down some carpeted stairs in her house. Went to the hospital, 4 hours later she was dead on the operating table - lacerated liver and ruptured spleen.

I forgot to even tell her last night that I hit 100 lbs gone. I've got a messed up past of yo-yo dieting and honestly wasn't even that excited. But she would have been. She showed me how to be compassionate to myself. We talked on video chat after I got home from my weigh-in even - just about other stuff! We spent 3.5 hours at Starbucks yesterday earlier in the day!

But who cares that I didn't tell her? It doesn't matter. The brain focuses on weird things in grief.

I am committed to continuing on with my recovery from disordered eating. I will feel my emotions through this, not numb them with food. I'm going to double-down on compassion. I'm going to lean on the support team I built. But she was the very first person on the team, even before my spouse.

I'm devastated.

submitted by /u/reloserloser
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