I have been fat for as long as I can remember (well over 20 years), and my parents have also been trying different things to make me lose weight for as long as I can remember. They were/are wonderful parents, who were doing their best, and no one else in my family has the same problems I have with their weight. Everyone else is very thin and generally healthy, although eating disorders do run in my family (on the underweight side though, I'm the only one overweight). But my weight has been a "family" issue - for my entire extended family - for my entire life. I'm mostly writing this because I've seen a lot of posts on Reddit from parents concerned about their children, and I wanted to share my experience for parents who might be looking for help.

Things my parents/family have tried that didn't make me lose weight:

  • Weight Watchers
  • The South Beach Diet
  • Atkins Diet
  • punishment
  • bribery
  • fat camp, multiple times
  • fat school
  • writing long letters to me about how they were concerned about how I was going to die and how much happier I would be if I lost weight
  • making jokes
  • calling me everyday to tell me to get on the treadmill
  • Asking me every single day if I was going to exercise
  • "contracts"
  • etc

Things that actually helped me to lose weight

  • getting a therapist with a background in eating disorders
  • having a doctor with whom I felt like I could have an actual discussion about my weight and my options

That's really it. There's no trick or punishment or reward that you can use to force your child to lose weight. What you can do is model a good example and give them the tools they need to make these decisions and choices on their own. Every single time my family brings up my weight or my "health", which I am aware of is just a euphemism for my weight essentially, it makes it more difficult for me personally to lose, because the pressure feeds the anxieties and thoughts that fuel my eating disorder.

While some people might respond to the things I've mentioned above, it is far more likely that you will see success if you help your child to make the choices on their own and leave them to do it. (I mean leave in a loose sense here, obviously you need to intervene if they get out of hand.) But pressure, cajoling, nagging, even with the best of intentions don't always help, and sometimes exacerbate the issue.

That's my two cents at least. I hope someone finds it helpful.

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