Hey r/loseit! Just thought I'd make a post about my experience to see if anyone has any insight! Tl;dr at the bottom!
Everything spans over the past 3ish years. In 2017 I decided to make a change. I did Keto/Paleo and started working out and I had great results. I was really motivated for 2 reasons: 1. I wanted to feel comfortable dating. 2. I wanted to look good for my cousin's wedding in 2018. I went from 220lbs to about 180lbs and I felt amazing. I ended up meeting my boyfriend around this time who I am very happy with and the wedding was lovely.
After meeting my SO, I feel like I started getting lazy. Long story short, going out to eat and various stressful events (falling out with abusive roommates, moving, quitting my job to run my own business) I'm right back up to 220lbs at 5'6".
I'm really ashamed of myself. Like overly ashamed. I'm noticing that my self-worth seems to be really tied to my weight. I feel like a failure. I feel like other people see me as a failure when they see I've gained the weight back. I don't want to show my face to people or have people over because I don't want to be seen like this, but at the same time I realize that I AM like this and I don't want to isolate myself...
As a kid, my parents were obsessed with my weight and I have been recently seeing a therapist to try to get my thoughts in order. We have been dealing with my CPTSD mostly from the abuse i suffered at my parents hands, but I don't think she has quite understood yet how heavily my weight/body image is tied in to it all.
I just started going back to the gym and doing at home workouts so that I'm exercising at least 5 times a week, but I'm REALLY struggling to get on any kind of reasonable diet. I'm definitely addicted to sugar, especially chocolate. My boyfriend is a big guy and he likes to eat, so that doesn't help. He says he wants to diet too, but he is even worse at committing to it than I am. I am using My Fitness Pal to track calories and carbs like I did before, but I can't seem to control myself later in the evening.
TL;DR: Anyways, kind of a vent, but I guess I'm just looking for some ideas of snacks I could have at night, good substitutions for sugary snacks (especially chocolate), good at-home exercise ideas, tips on how to be confident and love myself even though I hate the way I look, and how to not feel like I'm a fat piece of shit constantly so that I can get motivated in a healthy way.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/38cNfKm
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