Hello everyone,
I am new here and apologize if anything is not written correctly or if I shouldn’t have mentioned something. I don’t know why anyone would bother to read this, I am just writing it because I have literally no one to talk to about stuff like this.
I am female, 22, CW 75 KG (165 pounds), GW 60 KG (132 pounds) and my height is 164 cm if that matters.
I gained all my “excess” weight 2 years ago, 6 months after a new office job, it changed my lifestyle because I had to work nights, sit most of the time and order food because I thought I would be skinny forever. The last statement was proved to be wrong soon when I realized I gained weight and didn’t like myself anymore.
I started binge eating and consuming thousands of calories because I hate myself, which is so unbelievably stupid but here we are.
I have told myself a LOT of times to start the healthy life, counting calories, 20-40 minutes of activity daily and no sweets. I start if great but I quit at either of the two possibilities.
- It has been 4 days and I can’t see myself becoming skinny anytime soon so I eat.
- I have already lost 5-6 KG and decided to give myself a treat. It turned into a binge and I just quit.
I have currently bought fiber supplements to get my metabolism going and some meal replacement shakes because it’s an easy and delicious breakfast within my goals. I know that I can loose the weight I want to lose in 3 months top and then I would just keep on living like this because honestly I hate everything about myself and want to change.
Am I lazy? Do I not hate myself enough? I feel like a whale walking in public, I can’t eat in front of people because I know they’re thinking “as if she needs it”.
I just wish I could either go back in time and hit myself on the head for eating too much or go to a future where I’m not this person again.
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