I am 33f, 5’3” 220lb. I was 145lb after my son was born when I was 25 and stayed there for four years. Then, I started a medication to control my bipolar and slowly gained weight until “all of a sudden” I was 210lb. I seriously knew I was gaining weight but couldn’t understand why. The medication threw my hormones all out of whack and tricked my body into thinking it was pregnant all the time. This made me want to snack all the time, like I was PMSing. I tried so hard not to binge but my willpower was nil. Couple this with the fact that I was binge drinking on the weekends to deal with my husband’s death and presto: ridiculous weight gain.
I switched meds two years ago and my hormones went back to normal. I wasn’t eating mass amounts of food and I wasn’t wanting to snack. I also quit drinking entirely. But I did not lose any weight. No matter what I did, I couldn’t lose weight. The only thing that got me to lose weight was extreme low carb but that’s not sustainable for me, I feel too deprived.
It’s so frustrating. I track calories diligently, I could eat 1600 or less for weeks and only lose 2lb. Then I get frustrated and give up and gain those 2lb back, if not a couple of more. I hover right around 220, anywhere between 215-222. I can’t get below 215.
I don’t exercise, I know I should but I find everything extremely boring and a chore. I’ve been walking a lot more because that’s easy, at least.
Anyway, I saw a picture of myself yesterday that my boyfriend took and I was just....ugh. I hate it. He says I’m gorgeous but I can’t believe he thinks that. I know I shouldn’t define myself by my physical appearance but I feel like it’s giving me the kick in the butt that I need to be serious.
So I’m jumping on the bandwagon, again. Wish me luck!
TL,DR - saw a picture of myself, hated it, trying to lose weight now.
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