So I guess this is a long story.
I grew up with my dad, step-mom and step sisters. They were tall and thin (5'6 & 5'8) weighted about 90 lbs and were cross country runners. All 3 modeled in their teens.
I'm 5'2 and was 120lbs.
My step mom put a bmi chart on the fridge and highlighted were I was allowed to weigh - less than 125 lbs
She also took away all my cloths in middle school and replaced them with large sizes because "that's how fat people need to dress - so no one can see their discusting bodies."
Well, not I'm an adult nearing 30 and with antidepressants I'm nearing 180 lbs.
I have been considering going off the medication because it's caused me to gain almost 20 lbs. But then I struggle with some pretty major mental health issues. Mood stabilizers really suck.
Every day I look at myself and I hate it. I stopped exercising during Corona and gained weird. Got married and gained weird. Got a sit down job and gained weight. Went to college and gained weight.
I enjoy junk food and part of me just wants to be happy, work out everyday (I climb mountains, hike, own a kayak, walk daily, run sometimes, Rollerblade, bike, etc).
I'm not sure what healthy is. I can't get back to 125. I would love to see 140. But even that's so far away.
Would it be good to get off my medications if I could lose weight?
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