I knew it was coming. My husband finally told me he didn't like the way a looked, that I needed to lose some weight.
He said I needed to feel good about myself again. That he didn't want to hurt me, that he loved me.
But I am still devastated. He said this 3 days ago and I'm still reeling from his words.
I know what needs to be done. I know how to do it. But I can't. I won't. I'm not there yet. I have all these excuses. And the mental gymnastics trying to hide from not only his statements but my own disappointments.
The past 3 days I've only tracked and pulled back on portions. I've started some very light exercise before I go to work.
It's not enough to lose much, but it's a start. I still have a lot of nagging thoughts. I'm taking his concern to a dark place. It isn't fair for me to do that.
But I know that losing weight "for" him is a sure way to fail. I am not sure what to do with all of this hurt. I was wondering if there was anyone in my shoes?
I am 240 lbs. I'm in my early 40s. I have let myself go the last 6 years. I have many health issues, autoimmune issues, and PCOS. I have severe anxiety/depression that is medically treated and may be part of my issue. I've done this before. I'm most comfortable at 175lbs.
How do I manage this? Mentally? I just need encouragement and perhaps some commiseration.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2ZF1nsG
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