I’m sorry if this isn’t a good place to post this. I’m not in a fantastic place with my weight and i just need to get it out there.
For all of my life, I’ve struggled with binge eating. I have a history of an unhealthy relationship with food, using it as a coping mechanism to deal with depression/anxiety, and emotional trauma. In March of 2017, I was at my heaviest. I weighed 258lb, and was miserable. I was at the tail end of a toxic/abusive relationship, and was in a very bad place. I ended the relationship and channeled all of my anger, hatred, and frustration into running and cycling - which was good for a while. I was doing one or the other every day, only eating what I needed to fuel my body because I had no appetite since my whole life was a mess. I managed to lose around 70lb like that in the span of around 7 or 8 months, weighing 189 at my lowest in the last several years.
In the last year or so, I’ve been in a bad place. While I’m happy with my life (amazing relationship, great job, living where I want to), my head is not doing so well. I’m eating when I’m bored, when I’m sad, when I’m happy. My portions are too large, and I never feel full. I’m not as active as I should be either. It’s a problem that’s caused me to gain 15lb back. It’s not a lot, but it matters a lot.
I don’t know what I’m looking for. Advice? Support? Someone to literally slap food out of my hands so I can’t eat it? I know I’ve only gained 15lb back, but I feel like a busted can of biscuits. I just don’t know where to start when it comes to getting back on the wagon, and appreciate any words (kind or otherwise) you have to offer. There was a time where I managed to say no to all dairy and sweets, and managed to keep myself motivated to exercise regularly. How do I get that back?
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