What’s up r/loseit, throughout most of my life I‘ve been pretty damn fat lol, I’ve just gotten bigger as the years went on and I didn’t mind it much since I just liked to eat tasty food without any repercussion. One moment that a friend of mine remembers is when I went to a 7/11 after school and ate 4 donuts by myself, but hey they were for $1 back then and it slapped. I didn’t do anything to help lose my weight and I remember thinking back then that it wouldn’t matter since I’d grow taller as I got older, but I haven’t grown from 5’3 since 7th grade. Thanks to my insecurities, I did know that I didn’t like my appearance of being the short fat kid and would always wear sweaters to compensate for it, I went to a school with uniforms so thank god for that. When I got to college, I became even more self conscious and that actually did lead me to start doing cardio at my uni’s gym, but I went to hard since I barely started after 2 years and ended up getting shin splints a couple of weeks after which halted my running for the next 3 years. I’ve had short bursts of motivation here and there to go to the gym, but I would soon after lose interest as I didn’t feel like anything was keeping me there other than hopefully losing weight.
It wasn’t until this June where I was hanging out with a couple of friends that I’ve known for around 10 years and I brought up the topic about weight loss. In this time I still didn’t like my appearance but I knew that I was pretty much just whining about it without doing anything to change my situation. I wanted to make myself better, as I believed that my ideal appearance was to be a bit muscular, kind of having my shit together if you know what I mean. Being fat isn’t good and it does suck since in my opinion, appearances do matter in society and people will be quick to have a certain attitude around you. It has honestly affected me mentally throughout these years, I’ve even become mostly introverted, having a quiet tone when I speak, and I kept more to myself. I felt that people didn’t notice me and that I was easily passed off due to how shallow society was since like I said, others judge you right off the bat. I kind of felt like I didn’t exist, even in my friend group with my other friends that I’ve known including the ones I’ve mentioned. I felt better when I talked about it at that time because it felt genuine to talk to my two homies like that as another time I’ve talked about how i felt in our bigger group chat, but I personally felt that I just got the standard responses such as “Don’t give up man” and “We’re here for you”. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, but it just felt robotic. The response from the homies was more to heart, as before we’ve talked about things going on with our lives, like we’ve opened up to each other about our worries.
Hearing their words of encouragement and me understanding that I needed to make the better choice to be healthier, not just for others, but for me. That’s when I really understood the term about loving yourself coming first and not to let the opinions of others stray you away from the path you want to take.
I started out with portion control right off the bat as I lived with my family and ate whatever I got and in July I went to the gym with one of the homies (It was only open for one week sadly). I also wanted to get back into running but the shin splints I’ve mentioned were still impeding my progress, but every here and there I’d take a walk. I also did a home workout here and there after the gym situation, but for the most part I wasn’t very consistent with my exercise, however whenever I did I still put effort to not half ass it.
The CICO I’ve been doing is a major success, I’ve started around 206 lbs back in July and right now I’m 180 lbs! I’ve noticed some appearance changes here and there and some family members have even commented on how I’ve lost weight back in September. A recent achievement I’ve accomplished is being able to run again! Yesterday I had decided to take a walk as I had fallen a few days ago, scraping my knee, so I didn’t want to mess up the scab, but I still took my running shoes. I had walked for 2 miles and I just felt like jogging, so I started, and I didn’t have to stop to rest from my shins or to catch my breath at all for 1.5 miles!
I was pretty content once I finished and honestly, I’ve been having a more positive outlook with my life since I know that it can only get better from here on out. I’m planning on starting to make these runs more of a thing like going on one tomorrow, and getting in home workouts, like I’m gonna do after this post. My goal is to continue on slimming down and hopefully the gym opens up as soon as possible so that I can start up on more weight lifting as i only have a set of 10 lb dumbbells here at home. I admit that right now I’m not being super enthusiastic about how I am now, but I appreciate what I’ve done so far and want to keep on going to my goal and to be able to one day look back and see how much farther I’ve pushed myself.
One thing I’ve told my two friends back then that sticks onto me was how the end of the journey looks amazing, but the best part is going through it myself.
If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading, it felt nice to be able to talk about my story and for others to read knowing that they’re not alone in this journey.
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