I don’t know what happened. I already lost 10 pounds. Seeing the scale hit 159 after being in the 160s for so long filled me with so much happiness and relief to know that all of my hard work had been paying off.
And then the following day I binged. I succumbed to those late night cravings. Once I started eating, I couldn’t stop. By the time I finished binging, I felt like crap. I didn’t know what to do. I made a promise to myself that I would get back on track the following day. But I didn’t. I binged again. And again, and again.
I knew I was undoing all of the work I put in this last month. I thought about stepping on the scale or counting all the calories I was consuming but I was too scared. Today I binged again and to my dismay I stepped on the scale and it read 167. In the back of my mind I’m wishing some of it is water weight.
This worst part of it all is that this is 100% on me. Nobody forced me to eat more. Was that extra slice of pizza worth it? No. Did I need to get a second bowl? No. Should I have gotten a small instead of a large? Definitely. This is my fault.
I am making this post to hold myself accountable. I am responsible for my own actions. Once this is posted I’ll be out for a 2 hour walk. I’ll reflect on my successes and failures. I’ll reflect on these past four days and why I binged so much.
I’ll promise myself to never do it again.
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