Well, 585 pounds since I was last at the doctor a couple months ago and I'm sure Ive gained since then.
I really need your help. At this point it's almost not worth it anymore, my body is and will be ruined forever, even if I manage to lose a few hundred pounds the skin would be a reminder every day of what a piece of absolute trash I am. Recently I lost 3 family members in a car crash, seeing my family absolutely broken is the only reason I'm making this last effort, I dont think they can take another loss anytime soon and I have probably a year left at best if I dont do something. I don't even know if this is the right subreddit. Like I said. Im desperate for any help, any advice, anything.
Im going to try to be as honest as possible and not make excuses.
I was always fat, even as a child. When I was in foster care I ran away from a group home and found myself at 16 living with a man who identified himself as a feeder. Desperate for freedom and literally any attention I agreed to gain weight for him. By the time I was 18 I was already 400 lbs.
We broke up and I got into a relationship with an emotionally abusive boyfriend. Not wanting to be alone, not knowing how to even take care of myself I did anything to stay with him. I continued to gain weight, no longer on purpose but just didnt notice I guess.
Im now with a new boyfriend for the past year or so he is loving, accepting, nurturing, supportive. But here I am still gaining weight. I know he will literally love me at any size so it really shouldnt be a factor.
At this point I barely leave my bed and doing so causes great pain I only get up to get food, go shopping, use the bathroom, and shower. Each time I'm reminded how limited my mobility is and I struggle to have the motivation to even stay alive.
This whole post is a complete fucking mess. I'm emotional and hopefully someone sees this and can take pity on me and just tell me exactly what to fucking do. Im so numb and dumb at this point that honestly just tell me what to do and I will.
Thanks for listening sorry to burden you with this it's really not your responsibility.
I will answer anything you ask here
Im 5'5 Idk what that makes my BMI just thought Id mention it since it seems allt of other posters include their height.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2P0wY6b
0 Comments