I'm starting over but with a different mindset

So let me preface that I am a 29 year old 5'9" male who is currently 350lbs. I've been heavy for all of my life and after numerous attempts at losing weight I am approaching this time with a completely different mindset. For the past few months I have been regularly going to therapy and I realized something about myself. My self loathing was out of control and I thought of myself as lower then dirt and hated the body I was in. This would cause me to binge eat and gain and gain weight. Lately, I have be talking to my therapist about a mantra and it goes like this "I am worthy of self love, kindness, and respect". And then a few weeks ago something clicked. Food was the extension of how I felt about myself, I would often eat myself sick because I was ashamed of who I was and I wanted to punish myself for being this heavy by eating to the point of pain. Food was my self harm. So now, treating myself with self love, kindness, and respect also includes what I am putting into my body. I am not denying myself bad food by dieting, but respecting my body and GIVING it the food it needs and treating myself with kindness with my meals. I'm not longer looking at dieting as a negative but a positive, a positive for nutrition, vitamins, and healthy bodily functions. Well this was my rant and I wanted to share it. Will I mess up, hell yes, will that stop me from reminding myself that I am worth of self love, kindness, and respect, hell no! Thanks for listening!

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