Im just having a really hard time keeping motivated today. Today would have been my son's 28th birthday and everyday i live in guilt that he's not with us.
3 years ago, my husband, son and I were all together in our struggle with morbid obesity. We tried so hard to turn course but we were all so far deep in it that it seemed impossible to get out. Unfortunately, for my son, he never was able to reach the goals he had for himself. At just 25 years old, my baby boy passed away from heart disease. When he was carried to the morgue, he was weighed in at 827 pounds. Just having to type that out makes me nauseas.
After that, my husband and I had no choice but to turn things around. And, Im happy to report that after 3 years, my husband has lost and had kept off 200 pounds and i have successfully lost and kept off 310. We both are at healthy BMI's, we're active and are living the lives we've always wanted to live but no matter how "good" things are, my beautiful son isnt here and i dont feel like i deserve this new lease on life. Why should i get to enjoy it if my son cant?!?!? I just hate myself everyday for needing my son to die for me to get my health wake up call
Im sorry if im sounding hysteric, to be honest, most days are already super hard but today is just one of those days where iv just been in bed crying from sun up till sun down. God i just feel like a terrible human. I dont know what im saying at this point and i doubt anyone can relate to this but if anyone is able to relate to anything im saying, do you have any advice? I just feel so broken....
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/39voYQa
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