I've been trying to maintain since I met my goal weight a couple weeks ago. I was trying to go slow- the first week I counted calories to meet maintenance, weighed myself, then this week on I wanted to not count, try to eat intuitively, and check my weight weekly to see if I need to adjust. But I caved and ate a ton of stuff I shouldn't have. I ate a normal dinner but it left me feeling uncomfortably full so I went to eat more because when I'm stuffing stuff into my mouth my stomach doesn't hurt, like "just one more thing will make me feel better." I ate old granola bars, cookies my roommate made for her boyfriend, left over fries that weren't mine, and cookie dough out the box. I know I'm absolutely over my max calories and I feel like shit about it. I'm ashamed that I lost control so easily, that I just gave up. My head hurts and my stomach hurts. I feel like a failure- it's pathetic that I've barely gotten anywhere and I'm already on my way up. I'm terrified that I'll gain my weight back but I'm not sure I have the will power to stop myself, even if I hate myself for it. I'm posting here to rant I suppose, and because if I tell anyone I know then they'll judge me for it. I feel bad. And deep down im scared to keep trying because if I binge again it'll hurt even worse than it does now. I'm sorry for being depressing. This is a positive sub and I've gotten so much motivation from y'all, I admire all the strides everyone has made and the amazing kindness people show each other here. I guess I'm looking for some of that now; everything about me feels shitty.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/31NJXuw
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