Hello, this might be a bit of a long one.
I am a college student in my early 20s. My father, in his mid 60s, has been obese (300+ lb) for my entire life. When I was in high school my father had both a cancer scare and a near fatal heart attack that, according to his doctors, he should not have survived. The heart attack was largely due to his poor dietary choices which resulted in stents needing to be placed. For a brief time after his heart attack, he “woke up” a bit and tried to be more aware of his health, but has since fallen off the bandwagon.
I love my father but he is a very stubborn man. He refuses to do any exercise on the basis of “being tired” or having a prior back injury some 20 years ago. I try to tell him that exercise could help his back pain, but he refuses. I offer to walk a little stretch down the road with him, he refuses. I offer to walk the dog with him, and he refuses. He’s either too tired or his back is hurting or he just flat out doesn’t want to. I am not asking for much—just a short 10 minute daily walk, at his own pace. And yet, he refuses.
Another major issue is his diet. He does not care about the quality or the amount of the food he consumes. If I bake brownies as a treat for our whole family, he will have a brownie when he gets home from work, then a brownie after dinner, then half a bagel before bed. If I don’t bake, he’ll eat any candy that’s lying around. Or he’ll use “I had a salad for lunch” as an excuse to eat half a tub of ice cream for dessert. I have tried educating him on food labels, talking to him about nutrient vs calorie dense foods, even trying portioning out his snacks instead of bringing the whole package/bag. He doesn’t take anything I say or do seriously. I bought him a fitbit for Father’s Day one year and he wore it for 2 days before it went into a drawer for good.
Literally nothing I have done has worked. All of his siblings passed in their 60s or 70s, and I don’t want him to complete that pattern. He was given a second chance and he’s blowing it. I want my father to see me graduate and walk me down the aisle one day. For his sake, I want him to lead a healthy and sustainable lifestyle without having to drag him, kicking and screaming, the whole way. For my sake, I am sick of the excuses and the drama this is causing between us. I’m at my wit’s end here and don’t know what to do. At this point I’m tempted to say “it’s your body and your life, throw it away if you want to”. Can anyone please help or give me tips on what to do?
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