Ok so here goes, I’m a 29 yr old female 5’7 and the last time I weighed myself, I was 190.4 LBS. I’ve been on an eating bender these past few days so it might be more. I’m too scared to weigh myself. I’m seriously at a loss of words. I don’t know how it got this bad. Well I kinda do so let me share a little bit of that with y’all.
I’m a lonely eater. Kind of like an emotional eater but only to avoid feelings of loneliness. I have a history of neglect and abuse and realized early on my feelings didn’t matter so food gives me an escape. Food doesn’t judge me. It’s my safety net but that comes with a price. Obesity, high blood pressure. Elevated cholesterol levels, heart disease, diabetes, cancer etc. I’m scared I’m predisposing myself to those aliments all because I can’t stop eating McDonald’s French fries, Marco’s Pizza Cheesy Bread and many more “comfort” foods.
I’m single never been married, miles away from family and never had many friends. I work a highly stressful job and thinking of going back to school to advance my career. Which means more stress. I find myself when I’m not working (I also work nights) eating and eating and eating. Feeling so stuffed, uncomfortable and sad. Then comes the anxiety and shame for not being able to control myself. Finally I look at my once shapely athletic body in the mirror in disgust and vow I will begin eating healthy and lose the weight but I don’t. It’s like a cycle and I’m so damn tired!
In the past, I put weight by intermittently fasting and counting calories. It might have worked in my late teens and early twenties but it doesn’t work anymore. The weight keeps packing on and now I’m close to 200 LBS! I have no excuse.
Please share some tips on how I can break this cycle and finally reach my goal weight of 150LB. Words of encouragement will be much appreciated. Thank you!
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