idk why, but the past two days I have been super down, not really feeling like doing anything, not getting excited about anything.

i think it’s because I’ve been comparing my appearance to how other girls my age look, girls I went to school with, and they’re so pretty and I’m not feeling too good in comparison. I used to wear a little makeup and I used to feel pretty but recently I decided to stop using it and I feel that my bare face is too chubby, plain, and unattractive.

with that, I’m also down because normally I like to eat my way out of feeling sad/bad but the nature of these feelings (stemming from feeling insecure) makes me want to avoid food, as I’m trying to lose body fat. but now I’m thinking, how do I find joy in the everyday if I can’t look forward to food? how do you go from getting joy from food to getting joy from other things? I feel so heavily dependent on food for happiness.

thanks for reading if you got here, I appreciate it

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