My entire life I've been obese with wildly unhealthy eating habits/diet. But these last few years, I've worked hard, managed to get on the right path and have seen some real results.
However, losing the weight only revealed a lot of underlying mental health problems that formed how I put on the weight and why I'm struggling now. I wanted to share how important it is to make sure that whether you're just dieting, or working out as well, whatever it is - please, please make sure you're taking care of your mental health as well.
I've struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time. When I lost those first 20lbs I was so happy, and then the next 20 fell and so did the next 20. But when things inevitably slowed down I became obsessed with weighing myself every day, hoarding a surplus of calories instead of filling my budget/allowance and refusing to eat even when I was hungry in case I didn't see progress on the scale the next day.
Even when I maintained the weight, the progress I saw in my clothes and body meant nothing due to this obsession with the numbers.
The reason I'm writing this now is mostly to try and ease my anxiety. Tomorrow is the first time I'm weighing myself in a week. That sounds so silly but the pain I caused myself obsessing every day, denying myself food or water in the mornings until I'd gone to the bathroom, sometimes for hours, was detracting from all the positive physical benefits.
I'm going to keep losing weight. I have to for my long term health. But I also want to keep working towards weighing myself less frequently - every fortnight and then eventually once a month. Losing weight is a multifaceted battle on many fronts and you have to keep all of them up as best you can.
All the love and support to you guys. You've helped me lose it without losing it!
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