It feels impossible, relapse on day two

I ate healthy yesterday and made it. Was hard at night to avoid junk food but I did.

Everything was great today until I ran a little bit, just 15 minutes. After, all I wanted was some sugar.

I knew the reasons my body wanted it, I knew I shouldn’t do it, but I’m a food addict and I just couldn’t handle it. I’m eating some sugary cereal right now and I’ve only taken a few spoonful but man it feels SOOO GOOD.

I want to lose 40-50 pounds and more importantly, I know I will die early if I continue to eat junk food. I’m only 23, I know I can change my life if I eat healthy, but damn it seems like my body just enjoys nothing but pizza pasta and chocolate and I can’t see a future in which I don’t eat these things everyday.

What’s worse is that I can’t just eat a little bit. I just had 2 spoonful of cereal and I just want to eat the whole bowl and won’t be satisfied until I do so.

I’m defeated and afraid I’ll never be able to fight this. And I don’t have anyone supportive around me and it really sucks. My parents see me struggling with food and instead of supporting my goals, they say I should eat healthy, but then proceed to offer milkshakes 5-8 times a day, but pizza, etc.

Luckily I’m moving to a whole new state soon and maybe that will help but nevertheless can anyone offer advice or relate to this? Im not really overweight but I used to be an athlete so there is a huge difference between how I used to look and now and I want it to change.

Sorry if this is a long rant or pointless but Idk

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