I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place to vent this but I just feel like I have no one to talk to.

I’ve been in a funk the past couple of days and decided today that i was going to have a “me” day and take myself out shopping and eat some paella since I’ve been craving it for a while. Told my boyfriend I was going to spend the day to myself and he was in full support.

I did a Barry’s class to get my workout done for the day and was so proud I was able to run on the treadmill for longer than the last class so i was feeling good. Got hungry but I didn’t really eat until 2 so it was a bit of a late lunch. My bf checked in on me and I told him that I had good paella and planned to go shopping.

Fast forward to 7:30pm and I got hungry again. My bf calls and I’m at a Japanese hot pot place because I wanted something warm (I always get the beef slices and a bowl of veggies and skipped the noodles and rice). I told him I’m in the middle of eating shabu and he jokingly goes “you’re eating again?! Lol what’s going on with you?”

My stomach dropped and I was in disbelief on what I just heard. Here is the man who was always so supportive in my journey and loved me regardless of what I looked like and he’s now making jokes at my expense. He’s done something similar before and I expressed how weight jokes are sensitive to me because I grew up having to hear them from my mom all the time. I thought he understood.

He tried to defend himself and say it was a joke but I told him that made me feel so shitty. It totally ruined my night and I didn’t even finish my dinner. I just paid and left and started crying my eyes out once I left the restaurant.

I have 40 or so pounds to lose but now that just feels so impossible and i feel more alone than ever. Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for reading.

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