This is really long, I’m sorry. I just really want to lose weight for my health, and to make myself feel good about my appearance.

So I posted the beginning of my journey a couple weeks ago here and they gave me advice on calorie intake, and where to find nutritional recipes, but I feel like nothing has changed. I see these posts that are like “I lost 40 pounds in a month! I just worked out twice a day and cut out any processed foods,” but I feel like I look exactly the same, or I’m even gaining weight.

I will admit when I started, it was hard for me to cut out processed foods, like ice cream and chips, and it still is. It’s easy to cut out surgery drinks, but I know I don’t drink enough water. When I first started, I was only doing those 30 day challenges because they start off slow and work their way up, but I’m doing 9 of them. It was getting hard to stick to them because it’s so many of them building up that it felt like it was faster than normal. Recently I added cardio. I almost gave up completely because I was so tired, but I reminded myself it’s also for my health, so now my set up is cycling between:

One day of one hour of cardio, the next I’ll do 30 minutes of cardio AND all of my 9 30-day challenges, then back to cardio the next.

Normally I don’t focus on seeing results, but I can’t help it. I do feel stronger, but honestly the only difference I see is a bit more muscle in my right bicep.

My calorie intake is now 1,100-1,300 everyday, even the days where I eat cookies, ice cream, or chips (I track it on MyFitnessPal); my recommended was 1,239. But the thing is, before, I would hardly eat more than just one big meal a day, so I have no idea if it really is a calorie deficit like it’s intended to be, or if I’m eating more than my normal.

It’s hard to choose healthy foods though, because I live with my parents and they’re the ones who grocery shop, and all they buy is processed food. If I request healthy food, they’ll only get enough for maybe 1-2 days of meals.

I tried not to take my waist measurements again, but I did. It started off at 33.5 inches, and when I felt really good about myself I checked again and it was 33in, I felt bad. I checked today and it was 34in. I realize this is probably because I checked at different times of the day, and I just started my menses, so I’m bloated.

I’ll take any advice for mental or physical help during this time. I do like that I feel stronger. I do know this has to be a lifestyle change that I’m ready for. I just think seeing photos/videos/reflections of myself without a change right now is making me feel bad. I started on March 9th, and I skipped maybe 5 days of working out since, but generally I’ve been sticking to it. Lately I’ve been feeling more tired than normal, but again it might be because of my menses, yet even with feeling tired, I don’t feel sore anymore, so I don’t know if that means I’m not pushing myself hard enough.

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