I’m 20F. I started my weight loss journey on the 20th January, at 5’3 I weighed 187lbs which put me in the obese category with a bmi of 33.1. I’m in my second year of university, and I gained 37lbs in my first year due to depression and stress. I will say I carry my weight well, I’ve met people who weigh less than me at my height who ‘look’ heavier than me. Even when I was at a healthy weight I’ve always been a bit ‘curvy’, my bust was bigger than all my friends when I hit puberty (I take after my mum who is an H cup) and weight seemed to go to my thighs.
So far, after 7 weeks I have lost 8lbs. It’s slower than I wanted to be, however I am a university student and I go out drinking several times a week. I know a lot of people on diets cut drinking out completely, so I made sure to cut down my eating and I go to the gym 4 times a week, on top of averaging 10,000 steps a day. I know I could definitely have lost more if I cut out drinking, but as someone who has suffered from depression most of her teenage years socialising on nights gives me something to look forward to, if my friends can stay very slim whilst going out and drinking (even eating!) more than me, I can lose weight too.
So a few days ago I was out on a night out with my friends. I was wearing jeans and a sheer top. I was also wearing a bum-bag (fanny pack) so a lot of my waist was hidden. My friends have complimented me saying my face looks slimmer and stuff, one girl I met was even shocked when I told her my weight and before I even told her said I didn’t need to lose weight (I could tell she was being genuine by her reaction). I’ve also been gaining muscle as I do strength training at the gym, so I have noticed I’ve been toning up. I’d say I’m a pretty girl in general, and on that particular night out I did actually kiss a guy, so it’s not like my weight usually puts off guys, they usually like my assets haha.
So my friend, who is absolutely gorgeous, a 10/10, ended up in an argument with some guy outside a club. I believe he was a rep so he was mostly sober (unless he was on drugs which I didn’t know about). He started to call her ugly and a 5/10, and I butted in and insulted him (I was very drunk) because she is in no way a ‘5/10’. He then started to yell at me calling my “really obese” and “fat” and started making a ‘big belly’ gesture. I started crying, and it was actually the first time I’ve cried in public for a very very long tine. My friends tried to reassure me, saying he was just trying to find a way to get to me, but the fact he immediately went for my weight when he didn’t with my friend (tbf she’s very very slim) made me immediately take it personally.
Best case scenario, he saw I was ‘curvier’ than my friends and exaggerated my weight to get to me because I insulted him (I did say he had a tiny d*ck so that angered him haha), because I’m not “really obese” (as I said I carry my weight fairly well) and he couldn’t even see my waist properly. The thing is I’ve gotten into drunken arguments before, and no one has ever brought up my weight. So now a few days later, it still does upset me, because I worry if that’s what people really think I look like but don’t say it to my face.
I’m still continuing to lose weight. My initial goal is 150lbs because that is what I weighed when I arrived at university and I felt confident about my body and I could wear whatever clothes I liked. My new year’s resolution for this year is to go on a date, because I haven’t gone on a date since arriving at university a year and a half ago, and all my friends, both at uni and at home are in relationships haha. I have anxiety as well as depression so there is a fear that if I do get into a relationship I will start to worry that he wouldn’t have dated me if I was at my starting weight etc, so any advice on that would be great.
I’m sorry if this isn’t really informative, I just wanted to give my thoughts on something that happened.
EDIT: In case anyone was wondering, my diet/routine is this:
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days I’m not drinking eat 1200-1400 calories
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days I am drinking eat no more than 1200.
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buy a snack (starchy so I don’t feel ill) to eat when I get back from a night out, no more than 400 calories.
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when I do drink, always only spirits and diet mixer.
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go to gym 3 times a week for about 60-90 mins, mainly training with weights and 10-15 mins of cardio at the end of each session.
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I play netball on a Sunday for 90 mins (which is bloody exhausting). If netball is cancelled due to rain I normally do an extra gym session.
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if I’ve had dinner and I genuinely feel hungry, I will have a small snack, some days I have a slightly bigger appetite and that’s okay, and I never normally gain weight after doing so.
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at uni, I walk an average of 10,000 steps a day.
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