Restarting again. I failed. I need words of encouragement.

Mobile atm. Sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes. I was fairly active on this subreddit.

I'm 22f I 5'3 weighed 287lbs. Lost 40-50lbs (237lbs lightest) in 4-5 months. In august 2019. Worked out 5x a week, ate 1500kcal a day. My goal weight is 130lbs or whatever BMI that makes me feel healthy

Had a traumatic experience

Now I'm sitting at maybe 300lbs+. Havent been to the gym since september 2019. Eating out of control. I'm too scared to look at the scale again.

I feel super heavy, very weak on my feet. I feel fucking gross. I had to buy bigger clothes 3x-maybe 4x now. I used to be 1x or 2x.

I used to be so good with weighing food and being careful. Now I just down everything. Eat whatever I want.

I hate admitting to it but I have to before it becomes too hard to walk or becomes too hard to even live.

I'm so sad. Why did I let myself get bigger. My kids were my aspirations

:(

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