Have you ever felt like you ruined everything just because of your weight?

Using a throwaway because I’m too embarrassed to post this with my main.

I’m... big. Really big. I’ve been overweight my entire life, was probably obese before I was ever a teenager. I’m 30 now and I still haven’t fixed this problem because I just like to eat. 6 years ago I managed to lose ~90 lbs but then I regained it and more because keto isn’t sustainable for me personally.

To the point of my post, a few months ago my best friends of many years got married and I was the maid of honour. Today they got the pictures back and just sent me a bunch of them and I’m horrified. I’m completely mortified because seeing myself in a wedding party of thin people, I just completely ruin the pictures. I know what I look like, I was at the highest weight of my life at that time. It shouldn’t have hit me this hard, but it did.

I’m so embarrassed and ashamed for ruining her photos by looking the way I do. I’ve been back to counting calories using MFP for a few weeks now (I’m no stranger to food scales and how to properly track) but now I just feel so.. gross.

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