I went for a hike at Mt.Chocorua, which was definitely a challenge. During a short water break, a guy and a woman descending passed me by. I was visibly sweaty, and out of breath. Once they thought they were out of ear shot, the woman turned to the guy and said "why is there a fat girl climbing a mountain?" They both laughed and continued on. I just stood there, pretty much on the verge of tears.
Honestly, this made me really upset. I felt as if I don't belong in the trails, that my existence there is merely a joke. For the first time since i started hiking, I felt out of place. I've always been an avid outdoors person, but due to poor food choices, I was unable to fully enjoy what life has to offer once I got too heavy. I started my weight loss journey in January, and so far had lost 75 lbs ! The difference in weight had allowed me to enjoy all the things I previously can't enjoy before, most importantly hiking.
I almost decided to descend right there and then, and then I remembered the journey that I had to go through to get to the point where I can hike a mountain without being in pain. All those months counting calories and recording my carb intake (keto). Those hours doing strength workout to build up my core, quads, hamstrings, calves and glutes for technical climbs. The miles of running that I pushed further every week to build up my endurance. All those hardships I underwent just so I can climb a dam mountain in peace. That moment of brief reflection gave me the will to tune out the negative voices, square up my shoulder and continue my ascent. The woman didn't know my journey, and that's fine. What matters is my own self respect and sense of self worth.
Once I reached the summit, I felt an immense pride in how far I have went, both in my life and finally hiking Mt.Chocorua. Negative voices, both internally and from others would continue to exist, but it's up to us to process these and bounce back. The fight is still going, but I know I'll keep building my resilience and march on. 😌
F28, 5'6. SW: 292 CW:216 GW:150
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