(I don't know if posts like this are allowed. If they aren't, take it down.)
Possible TW for ED—I was never diagnosed, but from what I've researched, some of my past actions I described are ED-esque.
I am only 17 years old. I'd been overweight for half of my life, and obese for the past 5 years. My heaviest weight was 209 pounds. Back in November, I decided that I wanted to lose weight for good. I was 190 pounds, and I was sick of hating myself in pictures, sick of eating my feelings every single day because of a deep depression unrelated to my weight, sick of feeling ashamed to have gotten so large when there was no excuse for it—so I took hold and started counting my calories. However, I went a little too far.
I used the Lose It! calorie counting app and started out fine. Just ate a little less and cut out processed foods little by little. The weight dropped fast. I was looking and feeling better. Then I thought, 'hey, if I cut down to, like, 400 calories a day, I can lose way faster!' And so I did just that. I lived off salads and soups. I would freak out if I couldn't find a nutritional guide for a restaurant I would be eating at while I was out. I would only eat at home, I quit taking my lunch to school. I became even more irritable than I already was because I was running off a small fraction of the calories I required, and I hated what I'd become—weighing every gram of food, having to turn down anything someone would offer me to eat if I couldn't accurately measure the calories. Everyone was so concerned, but they didn't say much. And I didn't even realize I was starving myself until last month.
I've increased my caloric intake to a normal amount, and I'm doing a lot better now. I've finally reached my goal of 135 pounds. And while I'm so so thankful that I've regulated my health, I'm still unhappy with my body. My stomach has always been my biggest insecurity. The bottom of it has looked like a butt ever since I became overweight in the third grade, and it hangs far down as if I've went through a pregnancy. I thought that maybe it would go away if I lost all of this weight, but it's still there, and it upsets me more than anything. It's not loose skin; it's fat that's accumulated around my stomach. I have no clue how I can get rid of it. I've tried so many home workouts but to no avail. I don't have a gym I can go to for lifting weights, and even if I did, I don't know a single thing about weight lifting. I have nowhere to exercise but my home, and even so, I can't really do anything because I don't have much room to exercise in my bedroom. Along with my stomach, my arms are flabby and my thighs are still huge. I went into this with the knowledge that there was a chance I'd still wind up with all this untoned fat. I know there HAS to be a way to fix it. If anyone has any suggestions at all, I'd be happy to hear them. I still hate my body, and I'm mad at myself for hating it. I know it does wonderful things for me. I know it looks way better than it did six months ago. But I resent it and myself. I'm sick of hating myself. Please help.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2AAjAPS
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