I am Morgan, F/22. I guess this is my official Day 1. my HW was 208lbs in Jan 2020, CW today is 198lbs. I have “tried” many times to get my health and fitness journey started but always gave up after about a month. I don’t feel like I am worth the hard work. I struggle with severe anxiety and depression which has debilitated me from caring for myself in any way for a while. I am now working on my mental health again but it makes the battle of getting my physical health in check too feel so much harder. I know mental and physical health and tied together closely so I need to work on both. I have developed bad hip and back pain from the way I carry my weight. I have been told by a physical therapist this would be alleviated if I get more fit.
I’ve ways had a very bad body image and very unhealthy relationship with food, even when I was skinny in high school. I’ve also always hated doing anything related to physical activity. I’ve never been the picture of health. I have gotten to a point lately where I’m keeping my eating in check, working on tracking cals and trying to be in a deficit. I usually am eating okay, but I always feel like I need one “treat” a day even if its a couple oreos. I feel like I have such a lack of control. I have this year on and off been doing cardio 3x a week, building up the length of my sessions. In the beginning, 10 mins was my max in one go...now I’m able to do about 25 mins in one session. small victories. Overall I just need to develop better discipline and gain more motivation. I really am so glad to find a community of likeminded individuals and I hope I am welcome and understood here. Thanks for reading & listening yall.
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