I’m sick of it, I’m sick of the way people treat me, I’m sick of being ugly and looked down upon, and I’m sick of hating myself. Today is day one for the hundredth time.

I’ve started a hundred and one times by this point I swear, in my adult life the lowest I have ever been is 276 and the highest was 344, both weights I have felt like shit about myself. Currently I’m around 390, after months of eating healthy and being on my best behavior and not losing weight I got angry and quit. I’ve been eating like crap for 2 months now and I’m just so sick of living. I want to make a change and I know it’s relatively simple eat less (and better) and move more. However as I know and you know it’s a lot more complicated than just that. I live with 4 other people who don’t need to take care of themselves as much as I do so they eat like garbage and keep said garbage in the house. Now I have ok self control (but not self confidence if you know what I mean nudge nudge) so it’s only a mild problem for me. But the medication I need for my insomnia makes me peckish, so I end up binge eating because I’m retarded. I also have no motivation whatsoever and I’m severely depressed so life is just peachy. I have the benefit of both only working 4 days a week and not needing to be at work until 11. Now of course I struggle to wake up at 10am (waking up is always an issue. So I typically skip “breakfast” and don’t eat until around 2-3. I would like to wake up at 8am (or 9am because I’m lazy and again insomnia) so I can eat a good breakfast and get a walk in and maybe some exercise. However I need some guidance and advice as well as some nice posetive words of encouragement to keep me going. I’ve been on this community before when I initially dropped the weight I lost a few years back, but that was an old account. I know how great this community is, and I hope to be a bigger part of it (but a smaller member) in the future. Thanks y’all in advance.

submitted by /u/maybeimaghostman
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